Whole30: It Begins

My fiancé told a funny joke the other day:

How do you know someone is doing Whole30? They tell you.

Heh heh heh.

It’s true though: since deciding I’m going to start this sugar-free adventure for a month, I’ve both intentionally and inadvertently told everyone I know — my family, my friends, the woman I sat next to at a charity luncheon yesterday, the turkey farm guy at the NYC green market. And the question they’ve all had for me is the exact same one: Why?

I need to work on my elevator pitch, but it goes a little something like this: For as healthy as I imagine I am, I still consume a lot of junk, and that junk leaves me feeling pretty rubbish. Could I just stop hitting up the peanut MMs every afternoon at work instead of going whole turkey with this program? Maybe, but the strictness is actually most of the appeal to me. As my best friend in California put it: “I honestly think the biggest thing (for me, and I imagine you since we’re really similar) with this and any other diet/cleanse/etc is that you no longer have the free will to make bad choices.” Amen.

(Don’t worry, Mere, I won’t post any other e-mail excerpts here. Maybe this recent photo of us from a non-whole30-compliant wine- and cheese-filled day in wine country, but that’s it.)

I had said I would be starting this challenge on Monday, April 25, but a wise friend (fine, it was the same friend. I only have one friend) suggested starting on a weekend instead, since the first few days of Whole30 are known for sapping your energy. As your body relearns a how to fuel itself on fat, not carbs, most people report a major — but temporary — slowdown. I was tempted to start this on Monday, but I am also starting a new job Monday, and I’m not a complete massochist. So instead, I’m starting today. First challenge: fly to the Midwest to visit my sister for her birthday. Bring it on, Indiana!
I may not be totally ready, but I think I am as prepped as I can be. Here’s how I got ready:

• I stocked up on compliant food at Whole Foods and the farmers market. Did you know most canned tuna fish contains soy?! The things I’ve already learned are amazing. And probably annoying: I’ll try to keep them to myself.

• I prepped. The trick to sticking to a plan like this is having ready-made food on hand. I prepared this week by making two giant batches of soup: butternut squash and parsnip leek. I froze them in muffin tins and have partitioned them out for easy, veggie-filled lunches on the go. Success.

• And of course, the final step of preparation: I binged on carbs. Yesterday, I had a white bagel for breakfast. I had a tennis ball of burrata for lunch. I drank a Bellini, downed some candy and enjoyed my last squirt of sriracha until May 22. They say the degree of your “carb hangover” those first few days on Whole30 is completely proportionate to how badly you ate leading into the plan. Brace yourself, body. This is going to be rough. (But oh-so-worth it.)

A word of warning: I’m going to use this space to share tips and recipes and to keep myself accountable for all 30 days. If the idea of reading about someone else’s food choices for a month makes you want to scratch your eyes out King Lear style, feel free to set an alarm and come back to this blog in late May. But if you find what I’m doing interested or, dare I say, motivating, please reach out! Misery loves company, and I could use your support. 🙂

Let’s do this!