I Won’t Mess with Texas

I usually limit my lists to trifectas, since most things – holy trinities, blind mice, Hanson brothers, etc. – are better in threes. But since everything is bigger in Texas, I’m going to break from tradition here and dabble into the double digits. So without further ado, I bring you:

The Top 10 Things I Like About Texas

10. Every single time you tell someone you’re from Manhattan, you’re magically transported into an early 90s salsa commercial.

9. The healthy dairy option at Starbucks is 2% milk. And it’s delicious.

8. The City of Denton advertises its local 5K on a giant, orange truck.

7. You can win third place (female) in the afore mentioned 5K by running not particularly fast. My Saturday morning race only had 400 participants, plus a mascot, meaning my non-spectacular-by-NYC-standards 7:44 pace was actually fast enough to earn me a medal. Thanks, Texas! Thanks also for the brisket you distributed at the end of the race at 8:30 a.m.

6. Brisket.

5. When you rent an inner-tube at a classy establishment dubbed “Hillbilly Haven,” they throw in a separate “beer inner-tube” for free. Good thing, too. My beer never learned to swim.

4. Old-fashioned tractor festivals that you decide to attend after seeing the event advertised on a giant, orange truck.

3. All of its movie theaters have waiters, tables and full menus.

2. And those menus include spicy, fried pickles. Come on, New York. Keep up.

1. This girl.

I usually end my posts with a question, so here’s one for you. New York: why should I ever come home?


2 thoughts on “I Won’t Mess with Texas

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: